Today is Kuma's Death Day

Not nice, but October 6 is forever the day that Kuma died. Yesterday was her birthday and today her death day. In fact these past three days have hit me harder than I could have imagined. I seem to be reliving them moment by moment exactly as they happened a year later.

When I awoke today, I realized that when I woke up a year ago I was optimistic that Kuma would recover. I prepared a puree of steak, mash potatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli and gravy for her and packed them in a cooler to take her. I also packed a few pieces of cheese that she loved, some cookies and bottled water, all in case she woke up today and was hungry and thirsty.

The vet called me at home to say that there was no change and that Kuma was sleeping soundly. I said that I would be in soon and she said not to hurry that everything was the same.

But, when I got there everything was changed. The vet had taken Kuma's catheter bandage off and Kuma's glass doors were closed. Her medical charts that show what was done to her were gone and later they told me they couldn't find them. I have not seen them to this day. They just disappeared.

The vet ignored me like she was ignoring Kuma. I went to get her finally and asked what is going on. She told me that Cheryl her mother had said to put Kuma to sleep and had paid the bill and closed it out. I said that I would put another credit card and keep it open and that I wanted Kuma to say another day at least like what was originally planned. She told me no that Cheryl was the owner and Cheryl said to put her to sleep. She also told me that the staff were upset just looking at her and that she needed to be put down. I said that she is fine and you told me that she is not suffering. She said she may be suffering, which was one of the first lies that she started to tell.

They rushed me out of there and into a mourning room where I could take all the time I needed to be with her before the doctor came in to kill her.

Kuma in the mourning room at 2:38 pm October 6, 2015. This is the last picture of Kuma alive.

We sat together in the mourning room all afternoon. I was actually glad to be away from the evil vet and her negative attitude. And, I actually thought that I might take Kuma home for the night. She seems fine, was breathing well and was relaxed. I texted a friend that I may take Kuma home. I really was not expecting that Kuma would be killed. I just wanted to get away from all that bad busy energy and be with Kuma quietly alone like we always had been before. Kuma felt the same way because she yawned, licked her lips an took a big deep sigh of relaxation. There was no urgent need to kill Kuma, she was just sleeping.

I held her head and I kissed her hundreds of tmes, I kissed her eyes and nose and I stroked the side of her face and top of her head. I held her paw so she would know that I am there with her and that she was ok.

It was a very peaceful time together. Kuma was breathing easily and normally like she was just sleeping. We sat peacefully together for hours. Until 5:20 pm.

I said to Kuma that this was serious, that they want to kill her. I told her that I knew she had already come up with incredible come back miracles before, but this time it was really serious. I ask Kuma to show me a sign. At that exact moment, Kuma opened her mouth really wide and took a big yawn, licked her lips on both sides to get her hair out of her mouth and closed her mouth with her tongue back inside like normal.

Then as I opened her eyes and she moved them around, and I help my hand on her head, she started going into a seizure. Kuma's seizure's had stopped now for almost 30 hours since the last one. The phenobarbital was now working and doing what it was supposed to. Only later I found out that her phenobarbital was stopped abruptly for the last 12 hours. Kuma was not going into seizures because of the abrupt stopping of her medicaction.

I held her head in both my hands and kissed her telling her I love her over and over. It seemed to relax her a bit and help, but then it started again. And this time it started to get more violent. The top of her head was very hot engorged with blood, her whole body was moving. This was not like her other seizures. She didn't seem unconcious like she was before. She started panting heavily gasping for air. Her paws went up in the air moving all around. She really looked like she was in pain and I panicked. I called the vet to come in right away and give her the needle of death. I couldn't stand to see her suffering, it hurt so bad to watch. I panicked and thought the only way now to stop this was to stop her heart.

A man came in and asked if it was ok if he administered the death needly. I asked him to hurry. The whole process was just ridiculous. He tried to give her a sedative and said the cathetor was not working. Then he called in two young girls who shaved Kuma's other front paw and after they left he came back in and tried the second paw and said it was not working either. All this time I am holding Kuma with her paws moving and her head on fire while her whole body was in what looked like horrible trembling pain. He said he had to go and get more chemical because what he gave her was not working.

I should have stopped him after strike two and called in the emergency vet to stabilise Kuma and stop the killing. Kuma was fighting for her life to live. Her heart was too strong. Her will to live was too strong. She was too healthy to be killed.

A Cruel Painful Death

After coming back he put the painful chemical directly into her back leg which he was not supposed to do because it would burn her inside and it was inhumane. The chemical went straight into her heart and stopped her life in mid breath. This whole agonizing fight took 30 minutes. Thirty minutes of Kuma fighting to live, in the middle of a painful seizure and finally sending a burning chemical into her heart with no sedative.

Kuma finally dead at 5:51 pm October 6, 2015 after 30 minutes of trying to kill her.

Her bladder was obviously completely full the whole hospital stay.

 

How else can I say this, a sweet gentle loving girl did not deserve this horrible uthinkable torturous death. All this was done to Kuma to save a few dollars? Was it that important to stop all her medication immediately? Cheryl made a stupid arrogant kneejerk decision to save a few bucks. The vet was heartless and just wanted the space for another dog. The incompetence, the stupidity, the arrogance is just dispicable. Who does such a stupid thing just less than two days into a three day plan.

What kind of idiot pays almost $2000 to stabilize Kuma then when she is stabilized and doing well throws it all away on the second day of a 3 day plan? Just to save a few dollars extra. Kuma should be alive today and not dead. I will write more about why I believe this later.

Kuma's mother, the person Kuma loved and trusted her whole life, ordered her to die a painful cruel death. To save a few dollars. Because money is that important.

Poor baby, you did not deserve this, I would give anything in the world to change what was done to you.