An Older Dog Relationship is Different

Today we live in a throw-away society. We don't fix things when they break or get old, we throw them away and buy new. New furniture, new cars, new houses. We don't appreciate the old things as much any more. We want new, modern shiny things.

Old dogs don't play as much any more, old dogs don't run and jump. When I took Kuma to the park and she was perfectly happy, people would look at me like I was being cruel for making her walk or keeping her alive. The looks that I saw made me not want to take her to the park in the daytime. Why? Why do people see an old dog and say or think, "oh she should be put down"? I don't understand it. I woulld much rather have Kuma as an old dog than when she was a puppy.

As a puppy, Kuma was a bundle of energy and she was a bit develish. She loved to play tricks on you. She would bite your nose or she would run straight at you and then turn at the last second. She would turn her head and pretend that she wasn't looking and when you touched her paw, she would bite you. (She still payed this game with me up until a week before she went to the hospital at 17 years old.) She was fun as a puppy. But as she got older, she not only started slowing down but she started paying more attention to you and needing you more. The relationship started changing.

Kuma was always stubborn and did things herself. She never wanted help. But, as she got older she started turning her head around to look at you with her big eyes saying"can you help me up on the couch please?'. It actually became a funny thing because sometimes when she looked around and didn't see me, then she would just get up on the couch or the bed by herself. But, I always liked to help her anyway.

I was a mutual relationship, she liked to be helped and I liked to help her. With time more and more help was needed. Help to get up off the floor, help to go up the stairs, then later help to go down the stairs. People who saw this, said to me that she can do it on her own, but I would answer, that I know but I like helping her because it's easier for her.

As Kuma go older, she also becasue more emotional. When she wanted something, she would whine. The whines as first were distinct, a whine for wanting to drink water, a whine for needing to go outside to pee, a whine and later a bark for wanting to be fed and a bark to have to get up and out to poop. Later, the whines started sounding like cries and they became all the same. I had to try to figure out if she was really crying which almost never happened or if she just wanted something to eat. Many times I made a mistake and paid for it by having to clean up poop inside when she didn't have enough time to make it outside the door.

An older dog becomes increaingly more dependant on you. Kuma started communicating with me more. Especially after her hearing went and later she became deaf, she would keep almost constant eye contact. We communicated with our eyes. It actually brought us closer because I had to look at her more and she had to look at me more to catch my attention.

Kuma especially at 16 years old and near the end of her life became much more affectionate. She started putting her head on my lap so I would pet her and she slept.

Sometimes after dinner, I would clean up and she would start barking at me. I would then have to come over to her and lay down on the bed, put my arms around her, one under her back legs and the other on her back, then Kuma would take a big deep breath and relax and fall asleep. I had to lay there holding her like a little child until she fell asleep. Usually then I would sleep with her like that for an hour or so and then get up and clean up and try to get to bed. I never minded being interupted and I always enjoyed this part of holding her and sleeping a bit with her the best.

But Kuma's sleeping was not like before. She only slept for a few hours at a time, rarely 7 or 8 hours straight. She started developing a routine which involved sleeping from 8 pm to 10 pm or sometimes straight through to midnight or 1 am then waking up and wanting to eat. Often she would stay up for two hours after eating and sleep until 4 am. Then when I thought everything was good for me to go to sleep, she would get up and want to drink water and walk around the gym for two hours. This was her awake time. Sometimes it was her anxiety time where she was restless. I think it was because we were couped up inside in the airconditioning when it was too hot to go outside and she missed her outings and exercise. The proof was when we did get a chance to go for a long walk in the park, then she did sleep much longer and more peacefully.

As Kuma got older, she needed more help. When she started to get seizures, I had to watch her 24 hours a day. I slept with a light on and I slept very lightly so I could hear her breathing. I stopped playing the radio so I could hear her if she was calling when I wasn't right beside her. I was building a website in July but it got to the point where I couldn't spend more than half an hour at a time on it because Kuma would need something. Strange but everytime I went on the internet on my cell phone, she would look at me and I would have to put it away. She wanted full attention.

Here's the thing. The more attention and the more time and effort you give to an older dog, the more intense or closer your relationship becomes. You have to study her to see what she needs or if something is wrong. The more you put into your relatonship, the more valuable it becomes to you. As Kuma became older, the more I appreciated the time we had together. There is nothing that I would rather do than be with her and hold her and listen to her breathing.

For people that said to me that I kept her alive longer than I should because I was selfish and didn't want to lose her, I say, they did not know Kuma and they did not know our relationship. I would not let Kuma suffer even for a minute. Twice she cried in the last two years and it killed me to hear it. Both times, it was because her stomach was upset and she was fine a half hour later. And, I was already thinking that I should put her down.

I studied and watched Kuma very carefully and made sure that she was ok and not suffering. Life for her was difficult after the seizures but she was very resillient. A few days later she was right back to normal again and enjoying her outings in the car and her walks sniffing around.