Communication Severed

Kuma and I had a relationship. It is what she lived for.

We communicated continuously right until the moment it was instantly severed with a needle of poison that stopped her heart in mid-breath. I was holding her head talking to her and she was looking at me when her screen went black and all life left her.

Our communication was cut instantly and permanently. She vanished into dark nothingness and nonexistance. I was left holding her still warm body without her in it anymore. I couldn't call out to her because she was no longer there. I couldn't let her know that I loved her even though I cried it out several times.

We used to communicate in physical ways that I understood and also in uncanny spiritual ways that I didn't understand. There were just too many instances when I would speak to her in a normal tone of voice because she couldn't hear anyway and she responded with what I said. It was some strange mental telepathy that because of her physical deafness became our more normal communication. I stopped questioning it. Kuma responded to me in ways I could not explain or understand myself. It was on some kind of other level.

With our communication severed, I find myself sitting in the quiet and still searching and hoping for some sort of communication.

I meditate so deeply that I am afraid my head will blow a gasket. I talk to her like I did before. I look into the shadows for her. I look outside and almost expect her to appear.

I look for clues, silly clues like turning on the radio and listening to the first sentence. I listen in the silence for any clues. Last night in the middle of the night I heard some metal squeaking that sounded llike her whining. I listened and it happened three times. Then I chastised myself for being so stupid and trying to imagine things. I find myself desperate for some sort of communication.

And this is what is hard to accept. No more communication with Kuma ever.

Unless the mind survives the body and lives in some other dimension or in alternate universes.

Kuma where are you?