Who Was Kuma?

The is the absolute biggest question of all. Who was Kuma and who is Kuma? With the amount of time I spend with Kuma, especially the last three years when I was with her every minute of the day, I began to have glimpses of who Kuma was.

Kuma was an incredible being. The more I got to observe and feel her, the more I was able to see into her heart and see the wonder of her.

Kuma was more than a beautiful dog. Kuma was more than a companion and friend that stayed with me when everyone else left.

Kuma was my connection with life. Kuma was my gateway to love, to God, to an energy beyond myself. I know this because when Kuma died, my gateway died, my connection died. Love, life, happiness died. It all became unimaginably quiet.

Kuma was beauty and caring. Kuma was love.

But, this is only a small glimpse of who she was. It is limited by my ability to comprehend. I am not capable of understanding who she really was. I cannot see the big picture, the whole being of where she came from. I am just a tiny ant looking up.

When I think of Kuma, I get a feeling of expansiveness in my chest, inside me and I feel her and immediately start to cry. Who Kuma was is inside me and it is so much more than I can understand. Without understanding this, I cannot know where Kuma went to or where she is now.

Also, since Kuma died, the demons have not come back. She is keeping them away from me, protecting me. It is very quiet now.

This is by far the hardest post I have written. I can't write about it because it just fills me up and makes me cry.